And this is my Daily Cyn.........
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
This Journey called Life
And this is my Daily Cyn.........
Monday, October 4, 2010
Stressed Out?? Part Three
One Monday morning, my high school science teacher shared a remarkable experience that occured over the weekend. In an effort to save some money, he decided to work on his own car. His wife, not very confident in her husband's mechanical abilities, watched nervously from the living room window as he jacked up the car and slid underneath to take a look. The jack collapsed under the weight and the car fell on top of him. In a flash, she darted from the house and with the strength of ten men, lifted the car with one hand and dragged the love of her life from beneath it with the other. She saved him from being crushed to death. It wasn't until he was safely in her arms that they realized the miracle that had just occured. She was a tiny woman, barely five feet tall and she had just lifted an object that weighed a ton or more. With one hand! How did she accomplish this ordinarily impossible feat? Adrenaline.
Adrenaline is a hormone produced by the adrenal gland in the body. When it is produced it stimulates the heart-rate, dilates blood vessels and air passages, and has a number of more minor effects. Adrenaline is naturally produced in high-stress or physically exhilarating situations.
The term "fight or flight" is often used to characterize the circumstances under which adrenaline is released into the body. It allows us to cope with dangerous and unexpected situations. With dilated blood vessels and air passages, the body is able to pass more blood to the muscles and get more oxygen into the lungs in a timely manner, increasing physical performance for short bursts of time. This explains the sudden Hulk-like strength of my teacher's tiny wife.
When we live in a constant state of stress, our bodies produce more and more adrenaline in order to keep up the pace. If we don't slow down and give our bodies a rest or a chance to regenerate and recuperate, it just keeps producing more adrenaline and cortisol ( another hormone produced by the adrenal glands to help us meet challenges by converting fats and proteins into energy, keeping us alert, balancing electrolytes, calibrating heart beat and pressure, and counteracting inflammation). Simply put, if we are constantly on the go and under stress, our bodies are always in "flight or fight" mode. Living a life in this mode will eventually reap devastating consequences; constant colds, flus and viruses, debilitating aches and pains, strokes, and heart attacks. Adrenaline and other such hormones are gifts our body gives us to survive occasional stressful and dangerous situations. It was never intended to be pumped out repeatedly on a daily basis.
This is how I was living. In a constant state of stress. A life without balance. Rather than listening to the signals my body was sending, I kept pushing and pushing and my body kept making more of these flight or fight hormones until it was completely overloaded, overburdened and finally decided to shut down.
I submitted to a series of tests from my doctor. Heart stress-tests, a heart catherization (because the chest pain was just so intense), a Lyme's Disease test ( I had been bitten by a tick in PA a few months before), tests for ulcers, acid reflux and many more painful, time consuming and expensive procedures. Every test came back negative. It was discovered during the heart cath that my heart did spasm from time to time but my cardiologist reassured me it would not kill me. He did suggest I cut back on the Tequila ( a stimulant by the way), but other than that, my heart was miraculously healthy and my arteries were clear. Although I fought him over the blood pressure pills he prescribed, I obediently took them bring my pressure down. At least I was able to cross heart attack off the list. He did warn me, however, that if I continued living the life I led, I would be back in his office within a year or two and the solution would not be so simple the next time.
I was scared, I still felt awful, and decided to take a leave of absence from my job. I took a vacation and did nothing but sit and sleep on the beach. I read books I never had time to read. I organized my closets and drawers and tried to de-clutter my house. I asked a room-mate who was a constant source of aggravation and stress to find another place to live so I could have peace and quiet in my home. This all made my life a little more bearable, but I still did not feel well. I had turned over every stone and still had no explanation for why I was feeling so poorly. My chest still pounded, my blood pressure was still fluctuating, I was still gaining weight and could not lose it, and I was completely exhausted. Every doctor and specialist I saw had no solution for me. I refused to accept the fact that I was going to feel this way for the rest of my life. I wanted answers and I wanted them now. Typical! I kept pounding down doors for an answer and no one could help me.
I met a lovely female doctor at a party. We began to chat and I poured out my life story to her. She was genuinely concerned. I don't make a habit of doing this, in fact I find it mildly irritating when people ask me for professional advice when all I want to do is eat, drink, dance, and forget about work. This doctor listened and was gracious and kind. She suggested I call her office the following day and schedule an appointment.
After reviewing my medical records, conducting a few tests and evaluating my lifestyle and all my symptoms, she gave me her diagnosis. I was suffering from complete adrenal fatigue. I had lived life in the fast lane for so long, and had abused and pushed my body so badly, that my adrenal glands were completely exhausted. The constant rush of adrenaline and over production of cortisol was too much for my system to bear and every symptom I had was a manifestation of this condition. Adrenaline and cortisol released in short bursts when we need it can be protective and restorative. Sustained levels of it on a constant basis will eventually tear your body apart. Although I had calmed down a bit, my adrenal glands were still over-producing these hormones out of habit. We needed to correct that before it got worse and possibly resulted in a life-threatening disease.
Next time I will share the steps I took and the changes I made in my life in order to heal.
And this is my Daily Cyn......
Adrenaline is a hormone produced by the adrenal gland in the body. When it is produced it stimulates the heart-rate, dilates blood vessels and air passages, and has a number of more minor effects. Adrenaline is naturally produced in high-stress or physically exhilarating situations.
The term "fight or flight" is often used to characterize the circumstances under which adrenaline is released into the body. It allows us to cope with dangerous and unexpected situations. With dilated blood vessels and air passages, the body is able to pass more blood to the muscles and get more oxygen into the lungs in a timely manner, increasing physical performance for short bursts of time. This explains the sudden Hulk-like strength of my teacher's tiny wife.
When we live in a constant state of stress, our bodies produce more and more adrenaline in order to keep up the pace. If we don't slow down and give our bodies a rest or a chance to regenerate and recuperate, it just keeps producing more adrenaline and cortisol ( another hormone produced by the adrenal glands to help us meet challenges by converting fats and proteins into energy, keeping us alert, balancing electrolytes, calibrating heart beat and pressure, and counteracting inflammation). Simply put, if we are constantly on the go and under stress, our bodies are always in "flight or fight" mode. Living a life in this mode will eventually reap devastating consequences; constant colds, flus and viruses, debilitating aches and pains, strokes, and heart attacks. Adrenaline and other such hormones are gifts our body gives us to survive occasional stressful and dangerous situations. It was never intended to be pumped out repeatedly on a daily basis.
This is how I was living. In a constant state of stress. A life without balance. Rather than listening to the signals my body was sending, I kept pushing and pushing and my body kept making more of these flight or fight hormones until it was completely overloaded, overburdened and finally decided to shut down.
I submitted to a series of tests from my doctor. Heart stress-tests, a heart catherization (because the chest pain was just so intense), a Lyme's Disease test ( I had been bitten by a tick in PA a few months before), tests for ulcers, acid reflux and many more painful, time consuming and expensive procedures. Every test came back negative. It was discovered during the heart cath that my heart did spasm from time to time but my cardiologist reassured me it would not kill me. He did suggest I cut back on the Tequila ( a stimulant by the way), but other than that, my heart was miraculously healthy and my arteries were clear. Although I fought him over the blood pressure pills he prescribed, I obediently took them bring my pressure down. At least I was able to cross heart attack off the list. He did warn me, however, that if I continued living the life I led, I would be back in his office within a year or two and the solution would not be so simple the next time.
I was scared, I still felt awful, and decided to take a leave of absence from my job. I took a vacation and did nothing but sit and sleep on the beach. I read books I never had time to read. I organized my closets and drawers and tried to de-clutter my house. I asked a room-mate who was a constant source of aggravation and stress to find another place to live so I could have peace and quiet in my home. This all made my life a little more bearable, but I still did not feel well. I had turned over every stone and still had no explanation for why I was feeling so poorly. My chest still pounded, my blood pressure was still fluctuating, I was still gaining weight and could not lose it, and I was completely exhausted. Every doctor and specialist I saw had no solution for me. I refused to accept the fact that I was going to feel this way for the rest of my life. I wanted answers and I wanted them now. Typical! I kept pounding down doors for an answer and no one could help me.
I met a lovely female doctor at a party. We began to chat and I poured out my life story to her. She was genuinely concerned. I don't make a habit of doing this, in fact I find it mildly irritating when people ask me for professional advice when all I want to do is eat, drink, dance, and forget about work. This doctor listened and was gracious and kind. She suggested I call her office the following day and schedule an appointment.
After reviewing my medical records, conducting a few tests and evaluating my lifestyle and all my symptoms, she gave me her diagnosis. I was suffering from complete adrenal fatigue. I had lived life in the fast lane for so long, and had abused and pushed my body so badly, that my adrenal glands were completely exhausted. The constant rush of adrenaline and over production of cortisol was too much for my system to bear and every symptom I had was a manifestation of this condition. Adrenaline and cortisol released in short bursts when we need it can be protective and restorative. Sustained levels of it on a constant basis will eventually tear your body apart. Although I had calmed down a bit, my adrenal glands were still over-producing these hormones out of habit. We needed to correct that before it got worse and possibly resulted in a life-threatening disease.
Next time I will share the steps I took and the changes I made in my life in order to heal.
And this is my Daily Cyn......
Friday, October 1, 2010
Stressed Out?? Part Two
Last time I shared a rather personal experience of how I got caught up in a stressful, crazy, and hectic lifestyle. As a result, I suddenly became very ill. The truth is, my body was sending me signals all along but I was so busy that I couldn't hear them or chose to ignore them. Here were some of the warning signs. Do any sound familiar to you?
I was tired and restless all the time....
I couldn't sit still. My job required that I sit behind a desk most of the time but I constantly had to get up, walk around the office or step outside. My office was on the eleventh floor so slipping out for air or coffee wasn't so simple but I still managed to do this several times a day. When I did stay still for extended periods of time, I would fall asleep. I have fallen asleep in the oddest places; while leaning up against walls, waiting on line at the store, in public restrooms, at a live show at Carolines Comedy Club (we were in the front row and I still mangaged to nod off) , in a movie theatre (while actually out on a date) and countless other embarassing locations. I was restless because I was tired and tired because I was restless. I tried to keep my body and my mind occupied all the time so I wouldn't fall asleep. Every part of me was begging for a good night's rest, but I wasn't about to give in. Even vacations (when I took them) were all about fun, parties, and non-stop action. I just kept pushing myself above and beyond the limit.
I was an emotional wreck.......
Ordinarily, I am an easy going, flexible person. I am kind and compassionate, understanding, and very patient. My whole personality changed. I became grouchy, nasty and demanding. I whined, complained and nothing was ever good enough. My assistant used to go above and beyond the call of duty and take such good care of me. She made sure I ate, had coffee, screeened my phone calls, and even stayed late with me at the office after everyone else was long gone. Now she hated me. I yelled at her, demanded more of her time and attention, and pointed out every little mistake she made. I was so awful that eventually she arranged to work with someone else. Now I had a stressful, demanding job and no one to help me. I interviewed other potential assistants, but none of them were good enough. I decided I didn't need one. I was literally drowning in work and too proud to ask for help. This made me even more nasty and unpleasant to be around. I would explode in anger over uncontrollable circumstances or escape to the ladies room to cry a couple of times a week. I yelled at my computer for not working fast enough, cursed at folks who accidently bumped into me on the street, I even got into a fight in a bar. So not me! Stress was changing me into someone completely different.
My personal life was just as bad. I argued constantly about everything with family and friends. The man I was dating couldn't make me happy no matter how hard he tried. I had no time or patience for him so eventually he gave up and moved on. I had lots of friends and acquaintances, but my close and personal relationships were all falling apart due to neglect (on my part) and such drastic changes in my personality. I left so many lovely people behind simply because they could not keep up with me.
I gained weight.......
How could a proud vegan (no animal products in her diet) with a degree in nutrition put on 30 ugly pounds of fat? Bad eating habits. I ate out at every meal. I did not have time to prepare my own food. I added some animal products back into my diet for convenience sake. Eggs and cheese became my main sources of protein. I ate on the run, at my desk, at the bar, or very late at night. Every meal was unhealthy, fattening and fast. I washed it all down with coffee, vodka or wine. I hardly drank water at all, unless you count the quarts of Gatorade gulped down in the middle of a convenience store after a night of non-stop drinking. I craved carbs for instant energy and existed on pizza, bagels, and pretzels from street vendors. If I could hold it in my hand and shove it down my throat as I ran down the streets of the city to catch the next train, the next show, the next party; that is what I ate. My body was crying out for a good, healthy homecooked meal. I ignored those cries. My body retaliated by holding onto every single thing I ate and turned it into fat.
I had constant chest pain...........
I don't care how busy you are, anyone with half-a-brain would not ignore a sign like chest pain. Well... I did. My whole family has a history of heart disease. My dad has had two heart attacks and my mom suffers from rapid heart beat and dangerously high blood pressure. She has been taking medication for these ailments since her late thirties. I never had heart issues, my blood pressure was always low and I was proud of the fact that I was in my middle forties, healthy, strong, and had the stamina of an Energizer Bunny. At first the pains were subtle--a painful twinge, a flutter in my chest, a little difficulty breathing after a night out, a burning sensation. Eventually I felt as if I was being squeezed in a vice. I would be out of breath and hunched over in pain when I walked up a flight of stairs. I refused to accept this and pushed myself harder. I decided to run up the stairs rather than walk or take the elevator. I was like the Six Million Dollar Man. I would make myself harder, faster, stronger. I blamed the pain on everything else--a big meal right before bedtime, too many hours spent in crowded, smokey rooms, the heat and pollution of the city. I kept myself occupied and entertained so I did not have to think about it. People told me I didn't look well but I ignored them, too. I didn't have time to have a heart attack. If I was going to have one it would be on my terms, at the place of my choosing, and so massive that I would just drop dead right where I stood. Talk about a death wish...........
These signs of a body, mind and spirit in distress went on for quite some time. I continued to forge ahead, pushing myself harder and harder until I did end up in the hospital. Thank God for well-meaning people who wouldn't take no for an answer and insisted I submit to a battery of tests to determine what was wrong.
Next time I will share what my doctor did discover and how I got back on the road to good health.
And this is my Daily Cyn.......
I was tired and restless all the time....
I couldn't sit still. My job required that I sit behind a desk most of the time but I constantly had to get up, walk around the office or step outside. My office was on the eleventh floor so slipping out for air or coffee wasn't so simple but I still managed to do this several times a day. When I did stay still for extended periods of time, I would fall asleep. I have fallen asleep in the oddest places; while leaning up against walls, waiting on line at the store, in public restrooms, at a live show at Carolines Comedy Club (we were in the front row and I still mangaged to nod off) , in a movie theatre (while actually out on a date) and countless other embarassing locations. I was restless because I was tired and tired because I was restless. I tried to keep my body and my mind occupied all the time so I wouldn't fall asleep. Every part of me was begging for a good night's rest, but I wasn't about to give in. Even vacations (when I took them) were all about fun, parties, and non-stop action. I just kept pushing myself above and beyond the limit.
I was an emotional wreck.......
Ordinarily, I am an easy going, flexible person. I am kind and compassionate, understanding, and very patient. My whole personality changed. I became grouchy, nasty and demanding. I whined, complained and nothing was ever good enough. My assistant used to go above and beyond the call of duty and take such good care of me. She made sure I ate, had coffee, screeened my phone calls, and even stayed late with me at the office after everyone else was long gone. Now she hated me. I yelled at her, demanded more of her time and attention, and pointed out every little mistake she made. I was so awful that eventually she arranged to work with someone else. Now I had a stressful, demanding job and no one to help me. I interviewed other potential assistants, but none of them were good enough. I decided I didn't need one. I was literally drowning in work and too proud to ask for help. This made me even more nasty and unpleasant to be around. I would explode in anger over uncontrollable circumstances or escape to the ladies room to cry a couple of times a week. I yelled at my computer for not working fast enough, cursed at folks who accidently bumped into me on the street, I even got into a fight in a bar. So not me! Stress was changing me into someone completely different.
My personal life was just as bad. I argued constantly about everything with family and friends. The man I was dating couldn't make me happy no matter how hard he tried. I had no time or patience for him so eventually he gave up and moved on. I had lots of friends and acquaintances, but my close and personal relationships were all falling apart due to neglect (on my part) and such drastic changes in my personality. I left so many lovely people behind simply because they could not keep up with me.
I gained weight.......
How could a proud vegan (no animal products in her diet) with a degree in nutrition put on 30 ugly pounds of fat? Bad eating habits. I ate out at every meal. I did not have time to prepare my own food. I added some animal products back into my diet for convenience sake. Eggs and cheese became my main sources of protein. I ate on the run, at my desk, at the bar, or very late at night. Every meal was unhealthy, fattening and fast. I washed it all down with coffee, vodka or wine. I hardly drank water at all, unless you count the quarts of Gatorade gulped down in the middle of a convenience store after a night of non-stop drinking. I craved carbs for instant energy and existed on pizza, bagels, and pretzels from street vendors. If I could hold it in my hand and shove it down my throat as I ran down the streets of the city to catch the next train, the next show, the next party; that is what I ate. My body was crying out for a good, healthy homecooked meal. I ignored those cries. My body retaliated by holding onto every single thing I ate and turned it into fat.
I had constant chest pain...........
I don't care how busy you are, anyone with half-a-brain would not ignore a sign like chest pain. Well... I did. My whole family has a history of heart disease. My dad has had two heart attacks and my mom suffers from rapid heart beat and dangerously high blood pressure. She has been taking medication for these ailments since her late thirties. I never had heart issues, my blood pressure was always low and I was proud of the fact that I was in my middle forties, healthy, strong, and had the stamina of an Energizer Bunny. At first the pains were subtle--a painful twinge, a flutter in my chest, a little difficulty breathing after a night out, a burning sensation. Eventually I felt as if I was being squeezed in a vice. I would be out of breath and hunched over in pain when I walked up a flight of stairs. I refused to accept this and pushed myself harder. I decided to run up the stairs rather than walk or take the elevator. I was like the Six Million Dollar Man. I would make myself harder, faster, stronger. I blamed the pain on everything else--a big meal right before bedtime, too many hours spent in crowded, smokey rooms, the heat and pollution of the city. I kept myself occupied and entertained so I did not have to think about it. People told me I didn't look well but I ignored them, too. I didn't have time to have a heart attack. If I was going to have one it would be on my terms, at the place of my choosing, and so massive that I would just drop dead right where I stood. Talk about a death wish...........
These signs of a body, mind and spirit in distress went on for quite some time. I continued to forge ahead, pushing myself harder and harder until I did end up in the hospital. Thank God for well-meaning people who wouldn't take no for an answer and insisted I submit to a battery of tests to determine what was wrong.
Next time I will share what my doctor did discover and how I got back on the road to good health.
And this is my Daily Cyn.......
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Stressed Out??? .Part One
A few years ago, I landed the PERFECT job..... in the city. It was a dream job, a dream location, a dream salary! The office was located right smack in the middle of mid-town. Macys was a two- minute walk away. Victoria's Secret was down the block. Sephora around the corner. Madison Square Garden right across the street. A great job, incredible shopping, amazing restaurants, concerts, The Knicks, The Rangers, and more than enough money to enjoy it all! Who could ask for anything more? I dove right in- head first.
If you have never been to New York City, you need to come here. There is no city in the world that can compare. The smells, the tastes, the sights, the sounds, the energy. It's exhausting and invigorating at the same time. It's a rush! A high! To exist in New York is a different thing all together. You are always on over-drive. You are always rushing. There is no such thing as leisurely stroll down the street. Everyone is moving quickly and you must move with them to avoid being trampled to death. All your senses come to life at the same time. This is the city that never sleeps!
Combine all the great things a city like New York has to offer, a very stressful job, and a completely unbalanced life. You have a recipe for disaster. I was commuting back and forth from Long Island, working 10+ hours a day at my job, and then after work, taking advantage of the night life. Sometimes I went home, other times I crashed at a friend's apartment uptown. I would sleep for 2 hours, get up, shower, and begin my day all over again.
The food here is incredible! Anything your heart desires you can order and have it delivered. I ate breakfast lunch and dinner out every single day. I joined co-workers for drinks after work and noshed on unhealthy appetizers to soak up the alcohol. Did someone mention a 2AM concert at some dive down the street? Count me in. I don't have to go home! I can play all night and still put in a full day of work tomorrow! Everyone else would call it night and I would still be out. Sometimes, all by myself. You are never really alone in a city like New York. There is always someone to talk to and always some place else to go. I would call my friend if it was really too late to go all the way back home and I would crash at her place. I kept a change of clothes, a toothbrush and assorted toiletries there just in case.
Weekends I came home but didn't rest. I never had time during the week for local friends so Friday nights I would hook up with them straight from the train. We would dance all night until the sun came up. Saturday was the day to take care of errands, laundry and house work so there was no rest for the weary. Saturday night was the same thing--back out with friends until the the light of day. Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest but there was always something on the agenda and I just couldn't say no. Sunday nights I tried to force myself to get to bed around midnight. That didn't always work, however, especially if I was out and having fun. Next morning, back to the madness.
I kept this up for the longest time. I had the perfect life and the energy of a teenager. I never stopped. I had more money than I knew what to do with and gave it away. A round of drinks for everyone! Let's go out to dinner. No money? That's ok...... my treat!! I had the greatest clothes, the latest hairstyle, the trendiest handbags, the best shoes!! What a life! I was like a kid in an amusement park riding the roller coaster over and over and loving every minute of it.
Then one day it hit me. It was a hot, humid Friday night in August and I was trying to get home. The trains were running late. I felt ill. My heart was pounding out of my chest, my head ached, and I was out of breath. Oh dear God, please don't let me have a heart attack right here in the middle of Penn Station! I will fall down and people will just step right over me. Just get me home! Get me home! I did make it home that night but I ignored all the signs my poor exhausted body was trying to send me. I had places to go. People to see. I showered quickly and ran out to meet my friends. I packed everything I possibly could into one weekend just like I always did. When that Monday morning rolled around, I couldn't lift my head off the pillow. Oh, God, I am dying. My head hurt so bad that the pain made me physically ill. I was throwing my guts up over and over until there was nothing left. For the first time in years I actually called in sick. I never took sick days EVER.
My dad rushed me to the hospital. My heart was racing, my blood pressure was dangerously high. Ordinarily my blood pressure was low, so low my doctor would joke that I was dead! Not today. They insisted on admitting me. I refused. I had to get back to work. I had a job to do. I signed a waiver to not hold the hospital responsible when I dropped dead and went home.
A nice hot soak in the tub would cure me. I was just tired. I needed a rest and tomorrow I would get back to the office and I would be just fine. After my bath I took a good look at myself in the mirror. It was as if I was seeing myself for the first time and it was not a pretty sight. I looked awful. Dead man walking. My face was pale, my eyes sunken into my head. The circles under my eyes were actually black. I stepped on the scale. I had gained thirty pounds! How could I not have noticed that? I was always thin. I had a great figure for my age. Not anymore! What happened to me?
Tomorrow I will share what did happen to me and the steps I took to restore my health and sanity. Stay tuned.
And this is my Daily Cyn........
If you have never been to New York City, you need to come here. There is no city in the world that can compare. The smells, the tastes, the sights, the sounds, the energy. It's exhausting and invigorating at the same time. It's a rush! A high! To exist in New York is a different thing all together. You are always on over-drive. You are always rushing. There is no such thing as leisurely stroll down the street. Everyone is moving quickly and you must move with them to avoid being trampled to death. All your senses come to life at the same time. This is the city that never sleeps!
Combine all the great things a city like New York has to offer, a very stressful job, and a completely unbalanced life. You have a recipe for disaster. I was commuting back and forth from Long Island, working 10+ hours a day at my job, and then after work, taking advantage of the night life. Sometimes I went home, other times I crashed at a friend's apartment uptown. I would sleep for 2 hours, get up, shower, and begin my day all over again.
The food here is incredible! Anything your heart desires you can order and have it delivered. I ate breakfast lunch and dinner out every single day. I joined co-workers for drinks after work and noshed on unhealthy appetizers to soak up the alcohol. Did someone mention a 2AM concert at some dive down the street? Count me in. I don't have to go home! I can play all night and still put in a full day of work tomorrow! Everyone else would call it night and I would still be out. Sometimes, all by myself. You are never really alone in a city like New York. There is always someone to talk to and always some place else to go. I would call my friend if it was really too late to go all the way back home and I would crash at her place. I kept a change of clothes, a toothbrush and assorted toiletries there just in case.
Weekends I came home but didn't rest. I never had time during the week for local friends so Friday nights I would hook up with them straight from the train. We would dance all night until the sun came up. Saturday was the day to take care of errands, laundry and house work so there was no rest for the weary. Saturday night was the same thing--back out with friends until the the light of day. Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest but there was always something on the agenda and I just couldn't say no. Sunday nights I tried to force myself to get to bed around midnight. That didn't always work, however, especially if I was out and having fun. Next morning, back to the madness.
I kept this up for the longest time. I had the perfect life and the energy of a teenager. I never stopped. I had more money than I knew what to do with and gave it away. A round of drinks for everyone! Let's go out to dinner. No money? That's ok...... my treat!! I had the greatest clothes, the latest hairstyle, the trendiest handbags, the best shoes!! What a life! I was like a kid in an amusement park riding the roller coaster over and over and loving every minute of it.
Then one day it hit me. It was a hot, humid Friday night in August and I was trying to get home. The trains were running late. I felt ill. My heart was pounding out of my chest, my head ached, and I was out of breath. Oh dear God, please don't let me have a heart attack right here in the middle of Penn Station! I will fall down and people will just step right over me. Just get me home! Get me home! I did make it home that night but I ignored all the signs my poor exhausted body was trying to send me. I had places to go. People to see. I showered quickly and ran out to meet my friends. I packed everything I possibly could into one weekend just like I always did. When that Monday morning rolled around, I couldn't lift my head off the pillow. Oh, God, I am dying. My head hurt so bad that the pain made me physically ill. I was throwing my guts up over and over until there was nothing left. For the first time in years I actually called in sick. I never took sick days EVER.
My dad rushed me to the hospital. My heart was racing, my blood pressure was dangerously high. Ordinarily my blood pressure was low, so low my doctor would joke that I was dead! Not today. They insisted on admitting me. I refused. I had to get back to work. I had a job to do. I signed a waiver to not hold the hospital responsible when I dropped dead and went home.
A nice hot soak in the tub would cure me. I was just tired. I needed a rest and tomorrow I would get back to the office and I would be just fine. After my bath I took a good look at myself in the mirror. It was as if I was seeing myself for the first time and it was not a pretty sight. I looked awful. Dead man walking. My face was pale, my eyes sunken into my head. The circles under my eyes were actually black. I stepped on the scale. I had gained thirty pounds! How could I not have noticed that? I was always thin. I had a great figure for my age. Not anymore! What happened to me?
Tomorrow I will share what did happen to me and the steps I took to restore my health and sanity. Stay tuned.
And this is my Daily Cyn........
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Find Your Own Path
To discover who you really are and where you want to be, you must find your own path and walk in it.....You might stumble over things you didn't know were there. If you fall, get up, brush yourself off and keep walking. You will see things you never saw before, hear sounds you never heard before, and eventually find a place you never knew existed....a place you didn't realize you wanted to be until you stumbled upon it. This is a path you must travel alone. Take the journey, anyway. It is worth the risk..........
And this is my Daily Cyn.........
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Every Little Thing is Magic..........
Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does. - William JamesA song by The Police has been echoing in my head all day.
"Every little thing she does is magic. Every little thing just turns me on......"
What a beautiful love song by a man so captivated with his woman that every single thing she does is wonderful. New love..... there's nothing in the world like it. Everything we say and do is magical when we are in love......
The lyrics to this song got me thinking about every little thing we do. Every little thing I do. Does it really make a difference? To anyone? I came across this quote by William James a little while ago: "Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does."
I am a Holistic Health and Nutritional Counselor. I help others to eat right, lose weight, overcome food addictions, and live full, happy, healthy lives. I don't have as many clients as I would like, but eventually I will. When you keep putting good things out there, eventually it comes back to you. This is a spiritual principle that never fails, regardless of your religion or faith. I act as if every little thing I do makes a difference to somebody somewhere. It can be an uplifting quote posted on Facebook, a smile at the person sitting next to me on the train, holding the door open for an elderly gentleman, or sending a recipe for healthy mac and cheese to a friend. I am committed to so many different things right now. I write for three companies. Three different companies--three different articles. I work for a Mortgage Broker 3 days a week. I see clients in my office at the Wellness Center the other 3 days. On Sundays I rest. Actually I research and work on rough drafts of articles every Sunday but I do it in my pajamas in the comfort of my own home. I also maintain a Facebook page where I am constantly posting helpful tips, recipes, advice, and the latest and greatest health, healing, and weight-loss news. I also write a daily blog. Some of the demands, deadlines and responsiblities are from employers; others are self-imposed. Regardless, I am 100% commited to all these things.
There are times I do ask myself if all this really makes a difference. My commitments are demanding, time consuming, and sometimes I am simply not in the mood. I have my own struggles, my own disappointments, my own battles. Then I receive a beautiful email from a young girl battling with anorexia who tells me how much my posts help her or learn that someone has just tried yoga for the first time after reading an article I wrote. Yes....it makes a difference...........
It doesn't matter who you are or what you do. You don't have to be a counselor, a writer, a doctor, or a teacher to touch the lives of others. The stay-at-home mom performs magic every day. The customer service rep who soothes an angry consumer, the designated driver, the garbage collector who always puts the pails back in the yard makes a difference to those on the recieving end. A smile, a touch, a helping hand. Magic. Live your life as if every little thing you do makes a difference. It does. It's magic.
And this is my Daily Cyn.............
Friday, September 24, 2010
Cats Do It, Dogs Do It.............
I am an early riser. Most mornings, I am wide awake around 4:30AM. I am one of those types who doesn't require much sleep. I have plenty of energy regardless of how late I got to bed the night before. I love the quiet stillness of the morning, sipping my coffee in silence, taking time to organize my day. I also get a few good yoga stretches in before I pour that first cup of coffee and go through my emails.
I am not the only one in the house who stretches in the morning. My cat, Sambo, who sleep curled up beside me each night, opens his eyes the moment I do. As he lies there, he stretches his entire body. Then he raises himself from his nice warm spot and stretches again. As he walks to his food dish, he manages to squeeze in one more really good stretch.
My mom's dog does the same thing every morning. Paws in front, he extends his body and sticks his little backside up in the air. Doggie Yoga! It's adorable. As I watched him do this today I had an epiphany of sorts. Animals instinctively know they need to stretch it out. Get the blood flowing. Get rid of that of stiff, achy feeling from being in cramped up, curled up positions all night. Hmmm. How many of us humans actually do this?
Most of us open our eyes each morning and immediately hit the ground running. There are showers to take, breakfasts to serve, lunches to pack, trains to catch. Our minds are still foggy from sleep, our bodies are stiff. Our bones and joints ache as we stumble to the bathroom hoping a hot shower will do the trick.
It only takes five minutes to get a few good stretches in. Stretching clears the mind, gets the body moving, opens our lungs to breathe fresh air, and eliminates the stale air we've been collecting all night. Those aches and pains you feel every day could miraculously disappear just by taking a few moments in the morning to move.
Here is a link to some great morning yoga stretches.
http://yoga.about.com/od/yogasequences/ss/dailystretch.htm
Try these tomorrow morning. You can even do them at night after a stressful day at work. Anytime you want. You can never do too many good stretches and your body, mind and spirit will thank you.......
And this is my Daily Cyn........
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