We are All Mothers

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Today is the day we set aside to honor our Mothers. Those selfless, sacrificing, amazing women who raised us, loved us, healed us, fed us and hopefully instilled in us some good qualities that only a mother can give.

I am grateful for my mom. She is an incredible woman and I have grown to respect and admire her even more over the past few months as I watch her lovingly and patiently care for my father.  She never complains. She is a tower of strength.  Her love for her husband, her family and her trust in God motivates her to keep going, despite the odds. Today I will spend honoring her and letting her know how much I love her.

I am honored to be a mother. I have the most wonderful son.  He is a good boy:  a responsible young man who has become more than I could ever hope for.  He has a mind of his own, he doesn't let anyone push him around and he is hard working, loving, and kind. He has made some mistakes but he is never too proud to come to his mama and ask for help. He knows I love him unconditionally and there is nothing he could ever do or say to change how I feel about him.  He knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that his mother is always wishing the very best, believing the very best and praying for God's very best for him.

There is no love in the world like a mother's love.........

Some of us have not been fortunate enough to experience this kind of love. Some of our mothers have been terrible examples as they struggled with their own issues, trials, and disappointments.  My heart weeps for those who did not have good mothers.  Forgive her for her mistakes and her failures.  It is in this act of forgiveness that you will be healed from the hurt and pain you endured.  You will then be free to find another mother-figure to love you, believe in you,  and to help point you in the right direction. It is never too late to find or be a mother.

Some of us are sad today because our moms are no longer with us. I am sad for you as well.  I know you are reflecting on all the wonderful things about her and honoring her in a way that would make her proud. Perhaps you can spend time today with a mother who has lost her child, and make her feel special on a day that is usually very painful as she remembers the child she once held in her arms.

As I went about wishing all my friends and loved ones a Happy Mother's Day, I realized that we are all mothers......

You don't need to give birth to be a mother.  You don't need to raise a child to be a mother. 

I am not Catholic, but I thought about Mother Teresa. She never had a child of her own, but she was a mother to us all. Her life and her love touched everyone around the world, despite religious or political beliefs. She poured her love into everything she did.  She adopted the poor, the sick and the needy as her children and cared for them until the day she died.

Although most of us will never reach or help the multitudes that she did in her life time...we are all mothers.......

When you  nuture, nourish or love another person- you are a mother.  Each time you put the needs of another above your own- you are a mother.  When you feed the poor, heal the sick, or extended a helping hand- you are a mother. When you teach or share a talent, a gift or an idea- you are a mother.  When you care for our earth- you are a mother. When you adopt a cause and spend your time, energy and effort promoting it- you are a mother. When you treat others with respect, honor and forgiveness- you are a mother.

I admire and honor every single one of you!

Happy Mother's Day to all!

And this is my Daily Cyn.......

The Small Things

Every big thing is compilation of small things........

A mountain is pile of smaller stones. 

A beach is a collection of little grains of sand.

An ocean is a vast pool of tiny drops of water.

Never forget,  forsake or withhold small contributions, actions, or ideas. 

Those small things hold everything together......

And this is my Daily Cyn......

My Dark Chocolate Peanut Candy Indulgence

Did you know about Dark Chocolate Peanut M&M's?  I honestly had no idea they existed--until yesterday!

Yesterday was my last day of work.  The whole day started out bad.  It took me over 3 1/2 hours to get to the office. I usually arrive to work at 9AM.  Yesterday I got there around noon because of constant police investigations on the LIRR. Thanks, Mr. President! Once I heard about the train delays, I shouldn't even have bothered to go to work but I had some personal belongings to collect and  needed to deposit my last paycheck into the bank.  The bank that happens to be in the same building as my office.  There are no local branches close to where I live.  My therapist is also in that same building.  I see him every Tuesday. I've kind of built my life around the place I work so now this really sucks.  I just don't have the energy to change everything around right now so for the time being, when I need to do my banking or see my therapist, I must travel a long distance to do so.

 When I finally arrived to the office yesterday, I put in an honest day's work.  There were last minute details and paperwork I needed to take care of. I cleaned out the hard-drive on my computer, deleted hundreds of e-mails, cleaned my desk and packed up books, pictures, sweaters, coffee mugs and other personal items.  I collected an awful lot of crap over the years. I remembered to bring along a big tote bag for just that purpose so after tearful good-byes and promises to keep in touch, I dragged my weary body and my bag of stuff out of the office and on to the train for the last time.

Blah Blah Blah.... We've all experienced the sadness of losing a job or moving on......

What about the dark chocolate peanut M&M's?

I'm getting to those......

On my way home, I stopped at the store. Honestly, I haven't gone food shopping in a month. I eat, trust me, I do, but I have been so busy that I've been making quick pit stops here and there. I was completely out of cat food and shampoo so I needed to shop. As if driven by some demonic force, my shopping cart found its way to the grocery store candy aisle. The Forbidden Zone.  I've accidently turned into that aisle before but I always push my way through very quickly.  I don't stop, I don't look, I don't buy. EVER. I happen to be very lucky. I am really not much of a chocolate or candy lover so I am always able to resist temptation. But yesterday, I stopped.  I lingered. I stood there looking at all those delicious, fattening, oh-so-bad-for-me-treats and there they were: Dark Chocolate Peanut M&M's. They were on sale: two bags for five bucks. With a quick glance around to make sure no one saw me, I grabbed two bags and tossed them into my cart.  I felt so guilty that I actually hid them under a big bunch of fresh spinach.

I ate a healthy dinner last night and quite honestly, I forgot about the candy I bought.  Then I settled in to watch American Idol.  I was so nervous that Haley was going to get voted off the show (thankfully, Jacob was sent home) so I ripped open a bag of those M&M's. I will tell you right now--THEY WERE GOOD! That hard candy shell, peanuts and dark chocolate. What a combination.  We all know dark chocolate is good for us. Nuts are also good to eat. This is what I told myself as I sat on the edge of my seat in front of the television. I shoved a couple of candies into my mouth. They were rich. So rich in fact that I really could only eat a couple of them. After about four or five of those candy-coated treats, I was sick to my stomach. I very rarely indulge in junk food.

What was I doing? 

I got up and threw the rest of the bag into the trash. The unopened bag I put in the freezer. I couldn't bring myself to throw them away, too.  I don't know why. Guilt? Something to have on hand in case I do have a chocolate craving one of these days? I know what will happen. I will forget all about them and they will also be tossed into the trash the next time I clean out my fridge. I could give them to someone else but that would make me feel even worse--like a drug dealer pushing harmful chocolate covered poison.

At this point, you are probably thinking I am a crazy, wasteful person. How could anyone throw away food--especially chocolate? That's down-right sinful! I really don't care what you think. I don't need them, I don't want them and they certainly don't do my body any good.  Quite honestly, I don't know why I bought them in the first place. Chocolate does absolutely nothing for me. It doesn't turn me on at all.

Here's what I think. I was upset yesterday.  I am sad. I am frightened about my future. I have good reason.  I wasn't really craving chocolate or any other kind of sinful treat. I told myself I should be craving something.  I felt pretty crappy, unappreciated and unloved. So, I thought perhaps some chocolate would do the trick. It works for other people, maybe it would work for me. We are conditioned to think this way. What do we do when we are upset, broken hearted, need love and can't get it, or we have a bad day? We turn to food. Food that we ordinarily deny ourselves.

What I really needed was love. I wanted someone to put their arms around me and tell me everything is going to be okay. I couldn't find anyone to do that.  My guy was at his house and already sound asleep.  I called a few friends- no one was around.  So....I did the next best thing. After American Idol, I turned down the lights, lit some candles, put on some music and soaked in the tub with a good book. An hour later, I was relaxed, I was peaceful, and I slept better than I have in months.  I even slept in an hour later than usual this morning. Why not? I don't have a job to go today! Today my mind is clear, my future is bright, and those riduclous notions of not being loved? I love myself and I am secure in the fact that other people love me too, even if they couldn't actually be there for me in my hour of need.

You all know I don't encourage junk food.  I don't encourage food as therapy ever. I believe in getting the root of the problem. I do understand, however, this is easier said than done for most people. Here's the thing about those Dark Chocolate Peanut M&M's: they are candy-coated nuggets of pure garbage. Avoid them like the plague. If you are the type of person who absolutely must have chocolate-- make it good, vegan, organic dark chocolate.  It's rich, it's heavy and it's good for you in small quantities.  You will never be able to eat as much of it as the other kind so you won't feel as guilty and you won't sabotage your weight loss efforts.

If you want to know more about the health benefits of dark chocolate, read this:
Cacao Seeds are Super Fruit

And this is my Daily Cyn......

The Journey Home

The journey home- no matter how long, how difficult, how painful- is quickly forgotten the moment you walk through the door......

And this is my Daily Cyn......

Upward and Onward! Turning a Curse into a Blessing.......

Now that I've recovered from an unexpected slap in the face last week, I finally have my head on straight again.  Honestly, I can't really say it was totally unexpected.  How long can one continue to draw a salary (no matter how small) from a company that is not earning any money?  Something had to give!

For those of you who don't know, I was laid off from my regular 9 - 5 job in the Mortgage Industry.  I have enjoyed a very fulfilling and profitable career for ten years in this business.  Lately it has been a depressing field to be in. My salary and commissions slowly dwindled to almost nothing; as did my love and enthusiasm for the job.  I was just holding on for that steady paycheck- my bread and butter- so I could continue to work on my true passion- my nutritional consulting practice.

 I am finished with the tears and temper tantrums and now I have peace.  I am kind of relieved to not have to get up, get out, and hop on the train every morning.  I have so many other things going on and so many irons in the fire. This little break from the regular  9 -5 routine is a gift.  This could have happened in the winter but hey, it's spring time and summer is right around the corner. I can spend more time on the beach- which is something I love to do! When everyone else is stuck beneath florescent lighting behind a desk; I will be soaking up the sun on my beach chair. Ha ha ha!!!

Thankfully, I had enough sense over the years to actually save some of my salary, so I have no fear of being homeless or hungry.  I will have to cut back on a few things, that's for sure.  I won't be able to eat out as often and I will have to wear last year's summer sandals instead of buying ones. Same goes for last year's summer clothes. But on the flip-side- I don't have to worry about work clothes and unless I meeting with a client, my daily attire will be nothing more than a little skirt and a bikini top.  I can do all my writing and research from my beautiful deck outside, cold drink in hand, and take a quick dip in the pool to cool off. This doesn't sound so bad. It will be like a vacation- something I haven't had time to take in a very long time.

Ever the planner ( I am definitely not the type to sit around doing nothing) I do have some things on my agenda.  Here are some of the things I plan to do:

1. Spend more quality time with family. I am always so busy- I often feel guilty for not spending enough time with my loved ones. Now I can do breakfast or lunch with Dad or spend the day in Brooklyn with my sister.

2.  Redecorate my apartment.  I have been planning and talking about this for years and now I finally have the time to do it. I might not have the funds to do it as extravagently as I wanted, but that's ok.  There are bargins everywhere and now I will have the time to hunt them down.

3. Organize. I have clutter, paperwork and a collection of stuff that I have been meaning to deal with for the longest time. I tend to be a pack rat so now I will have the time to go through everything and toss or donate what I don't want or need.

4.  Write.  I have so many things I want to write. I have that novel I have been working on for years- now I have time to pour my heart out on paper. And someone turned me on to writing an e-book to help promote my business, so I can work on that, as well.

5.  Websites.  I am such a techno-dunce. I had no idea I can make money from my websites until someone actually told me. There's a company I just registered with so I can sit back and let my websites earn money for me. How awesome is that?

6.  Advertise.  I plan to advertise and market my consulting business BIG time.  Now I have the time so there is no excuse.

7.  Meet more clients in person.  I have worked out an arrangement to utilize the office I used to rent by the month on an hourly basis. Clients don't have to work around my schedule any longer (appointments after 7pm when I get off the train). By 7pm, I am frazzled, hungry and I just want to go home!  Now I will be able to meet with clients during the day- mornings, afternoons, evenings, weekends!

These are just a few things I plan to do in my spare time. My goal is to stream-line my life and build my private practice to the point that I will never again have to depend on a 9 - 5 paycheck . I hate being cooped up in an office someplace trying to make some other person rich.  I would much prefer to spend my time, my energy and my talents on enriching my life and the lives of others. The money will come..... all my needs will be met.

 Things happen.  These are uncertain times.  No one is secure- no job is guaranteed.  Thankfully, I am prepared and have a back-up plan. And I am very, very excited about it!

Do you have a back up plan or something you have always dreamed of but just don't have time to work on?

Has that proverbial rug been pulled out from under your feet and now you have no clue what you are going to do?

Sometimes what seems to be a curse is really a blessing in disguise! You just have to see it that way......

It's all about attitude! You can either sit in a corner and feel sorry for yourself or you pick yourself by the bootstraps and move on to bigger and better things.  There are no mistakes. Everything happens for a reason.  I needed to be kicked- hard- out of the nest so I could fly. Now I have no choice. I either fly or I die.  I choose to fly- like an eagle- upward and onward!

How about you?

And this is my Daily Cyn.....

Are you bending or resisting?

And this is my Daily Cyn..............

Instant Gratification

My cast-iron tea pot

We live in a world of instant gratification. We want it now!  We don't want to wait for anything. We want instant success, instant information, instant weight-loss. We play the lottery and buy scratch-off tickets hoping to become instant millionaires.  We take the fastest route to arrive at our destination as quickly as possible, we submit to surgery, botox and other cosmetic procedures for instant beauty. We want instant health, wealth and even instant orgasms.  And we get frustrated when these things don't happen quickly enough.



We serve instant meals to our families: faux food loaded with artificial ingredients and preservatives.  All we have to do is take a package out of the freezer or  pour it from a box.  Pop it into the microwave and VIOLA!  Instant dinner! We are addicted to fast food, and god forbid  that poor over-worked, underpaid girl behind the counter takes longer than five minutes to toss our meal into a bag. We get angry and frustrated. We yell at her, at her manager, at our children who stand there demanding their instant hamburger and fries. 

Think about it for a moment. We have instant mac-n-cheese, instant coffee, quick-dry nail polish, one-minute miracle-cure hair conditioners, over-night delivery. Right now, I am redecorating my apartment. My sister suggested a one-coat, quick dry paint that has the primer already mixed in. This way I can avoid two steps and the inconvenience of waiting for it to dry! Okay, I admit, this does sound awesome and although it is expensive, I will probably buy it.

We curse, we yell, we get angry because we can't have it now, become it now, get where we need to go now. A little bit of traffic on the expressway sets us into such a rage that we drive recklessly, repeatedly honking our horns, and flipping the bird at innocent people on the road. Why? We want to get there.....instantly!

What we don't realize is this quick-fix,  fast-food, instant gratification state of mind is killing us......slowly.

We are not made live in the constant rat-race, the fast lane, the non-stop rollercoaster. We can't help it.  If we don't move as quickly as everyone else, we are afraid will be trampled, left behind or left to die.

High blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, even depression: all symptoms of the need for instant gratification.  We push ourselves to the limit, eat unhealthy foods, and survive on a few hours of sleep nightly. When was the last time you sat back and rested? Hmmmm?

The answer is so simple.  Just slow it down.........

Yesterday, I took a day to do just this.  The original plan was to re-organize my closets and drawers.  I have so much stuff I don't need. I want to sell it all or donate to a local charity. This task has been looming over me for months but I decided yesterday to let it go a few more days. Instead, I stayed in my pajamas all day and lounged around.  I watched movies.  I turned off the computer for most of the day.  I didn't want to chat with anyone, read anything, write anything, or spend time job hunting or researching. I didn't want to deal with the constant "ding" on my Blackberry alerting me to an incoming email, a missed call, a new text message so I just turned it off and disconnected myself from everyone and everything.

And I made myself a pot of tea.

A pot of tea? Who the heck makes a pot of tea? The British.  They have tea time every day. They sit, relax,  sip tea and munch on crumpets and sweets. Usually, this ritual is shared with others and guess what they do? They talk.  What a lovely tradition.

I usually enjoy a cup of tea every night before I go to bed.  I do it the instant way.  I take a tea bag, plop it into a mug of water and pop it into the micrwave for two minutes, forty-five seconds. This way the tea brews as it boils. I can't be bothered waiting for water to boil on the stove or allowing the tea bag to steep for a minute or two.

Why? Because I want it now!

Yesterday I had the brilliant idea to dig out my little japanese cast-iron tea pot that I had to have but never used.  I boiled water on the stove and put tea leaves into a little basket that sits inside the tea pot.  As the water boiled, I put a load of laundry into the washer.  Then I poured the boiling water over the tea leaves, covered it and let it steep. While I waited, I folded another load of laundry.  When this task was completed, I poured myself  perfectly brewed cup of tea.

I cannot tell you how wonderful it was.  There was something so healing, so worldly, and so beautiful about this simple practice.  I sat back on my brand new couch with the cat curled up beside me and sipped my tea.  I breathed a sigh of peaceful satisfaction.  It was the best cup of tea I ever had and I decided from now on--this is the way I am going to have it.

Take the long way once in awhile.  Enjoy the ride, take in the view. Cook a dinner from scratch and let the delicious aroma fill your home. Sit back and savor a cup of tea. 

Instant is not necessarily bad, but if instant is all you know and all you want- you are sadly missing out on such simple pleasures.

Good things take time.

 If you want the best life, the best body, the best health, the best career, the best relationship- it is going to take time. There is no instant. If it happens instantly--it isn't real and as quickly as you get it, you can lose it.

Good things come to those who wait.

And this is my Daily Cyn.......