Competition.............

"See others as your companions in this journey we call life, rather than as your competition."

This has got to be one of the most profound quotes I've seen in a long time. Someone posted it on Face Book and when I read it I actually sat back in my chair and went "Harrumph!". You know what I mean....when something hits you and all you can do is just grunt?

So of course this got me to thinking......

Unless we live on a deserted island or high on a mountain-top, we are always coming in contact with people. Some of those people we like or love instantly. Others just rub us the wrong way. Then there are those we meet who, for one reason or another, we view as competition. They're better looking, happier, have nicer homes, more money, more friends, better love relationships, or they are more successful. We have a habit of disliking and avoiding these kinds of people. We might even discourage other people from associating with them.

Why?

I have a bad habit of viewing those who are more successful as my competition.  Especially those in my type of business. Men and women in the Health and Wellness Industry who are real movers and shakers. Makin' it happen. Sometimes I look at them and think, "Hey! They stole my idea!" Some of these movers and shakers want to network with me. Honestly, there are times I am hesitant to do that. This is such a shame. We're all trying to accomplish the same goal. So why do I refuse to jump on board with these people?

Competition.

I earned my degree and started my nutritional consulting company over ten years ago. I dragged my feet for eight of those years and left it all on the back burner so I could make lots of money in the Mortgage Industry and live life in fast lane instead.  That whole business was completely contradictory to who I am as a person. It was never a good fit, but I made it work. I think back now to some of the dishonest things I did just to make a buck. I never did anything illegal but I definitely pushed the envelope a few times.  And, I stepped over others to get to the top. My whole lifestyle was different. I was different. It was a constant battle denying who I really was and trying to be something I wasn't.  Then, my whole world came crashing down.  I am still picking up the pieces.

The fact is, nobody forced me to do all that. If I had just run with my passion for health and wellness from the beginning, I would have a thriving practice by now. Ten years ago, what I had to share was new and exciting. I would have been a real trail-blazer. Now, everybody is preaching a similar 'gospel'. There are times I feel as if I am barely holding on to a rapidly moving train.  A few years ago, I could have been driving it! It's no body's fault but mine that at fifty years old, I am only now getting around to building my business from the ground up.   I should be looking forward to retirement, not another twenty years of hard work. My original plan of operating my business from the deck of my beach house overlooking the water would probably be a reality now and not some far-off  dream. I am still hopeful, though. And positive. Better late than never.  I might be sixty years old before it happens, but it's gonna happen. 

I'm certainly not sitting around crying over all this.  Ten years ago, I probably wasn't ready. I had a great plan but obviously there were lessons I needed to learn.  Experiences I needed to have. Back then it was all about me. I might not have been satisfied with less money and a low-key, peaceful life. I wouldn't have as much to offer anybody then as I do now.  There's a positive for every negative. You have to look at things that way or you'll drive yourself crazy with all those shoulda-coulda-woulda's!

There are people out there making their dreams come true. Touching the lives of others. Loving their work. Doing what we do and doing it well. Doing it better! Competition? We could think that way if we want to stay exactly where we are and not grow. What would happen if we thought of them as companions, instead?

First of all, nobody owns the corner market on Health, Wellness and Nutrition or any other business. We each have our own talents, gifts, ideas, expertise, skills, and personalities to contribute. If we always consider the more successful folks as competition rather than companions, we'll never learn a thing.  The Universe can't come together on our behalf.  We won't be successful because we're selfishly clinging to what we think is ours.  We might acquire lots of things and a nice fat bank account, but we will never really be happy. Those who are terrified of losing what they have are never truly happy.

Remember the movie Miracle on 34th Street?  The Santa at Macy's Department Store was referring frustrated parents to other stores to find what they needed.  If Macy's didn't have that toy fire truck for little Johnny, Gimbals did. At first, store management was livid. "You can't send people to a different store! We want them to spend their money here, even if we don't have what they really want!" Santa didn't see it that way. He wanted the children to have what they wanted, even it meant shopping elsewhere. Even if it cost him his job! What happened in the end? People flocked to Macy's. Their business boomed. Why? Because all the other stores were no longer considered competitors. They were companions providing a service to keep the customers happy. Macy's was now the store with a heart! HUGE LESSON HERE!!

This just doesn't apply to business, dear friends. It works with everything in life. We all have something to give. We also have something to learn. Here's a little tip: those who achieve success in life the right way, will be more than happy to share their tips and ideas with you. The ones that didn't, will turn from you because YOU are COMPETITION. You don't want or need anything from them anyway. Partner with good, genuine people who are living life, making it happen, and willing to share.  Don't run away from them.  Make them your companions. You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain.

And this is my Daily Cyn...........

Thinking about Going Veggie?

photo from icanhazcheezburger.com

So many people are becoming Vegetarians and Vegans (going Veggie). Their friends are doing it. Hollywood is doing it! Former President Bill Clinton is now a Vegan. Mike Tyson, too. Natalie Portman. Alicia Silverstone has never looked better since she made the switch to a Vegan diet.

Are you thinking about eliminating meat from your diet because it might be healthier? Good for you. That could be a step in the right direction and we should talk. However, if you're considering radically changing the way you eat because it's cool or just because everyone else is doing it- THOSE ARE THE WRONG REASONS!

If you think it's just about giving up meat and replacing it with packaged, processed faux food that looks like meat, tastes like meat but really isn't meat and you have no idea what it is and you don't care as long as a cow, pig, chicken, turkey, lamb or fish was not killed or harmed in the process AND you think you will reap the benefits of a true Vegetarian/Vegan  by eating this fake "meat" and your regular diet of chips, dip,  mashed potatoes, frozen dinners, boxed macaroni and cheese, cookies, cake, candy and NO vegetables ('cause you really don't dig those) .......THINK AGAIN! Veggie corn-dogs and chocolate pudding is not a Vegetarian diet. Neither is Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and carrot sticks.  Just because you don't do meat doesn't mean you're healthy!   

The best diet advice (and when I say 'diet', I mean how you eat for life--not a starvation plan that is mostly denial and deprivation) comes from Michael Pollan:

"Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants."

FOOD:  real, wholesome, food in its most natural state. Not stuff from a box, a can, or from the freezer section of the local grocery store.

NOT TOO MUCH: anything in excess is never good- including healthy stuff.

PLANTS:  those green leafy things that grow in the ground or on trees and bushes.  And.....fresh fruit, nuts, beans, and grains like wheat, oats, barley, quinoa, rice (the brown kind--not the pretty bleached-white processed instant stuff you buy in a box).


If you are interesting in preventing sickness and disease, fighting obesity and living the best life you can possibly live, here's the secret:

Eat reasonable quantities of pure, natural, living, un-adulterated REAL FOOD!

Okay. Now what about meat?

Your choice. Some people just love meat. I don't. I function better without it. Others find it difficult to function when they don't have it.  Everyone is different. However, if you make your diet mostly plants, a piece of anti-biotic and hormone-free, organically fed (no corn or fillers), free-range chicken, beef from grazing, grass-fed cattle or wild salmon (not the cheap, artificially-colored farmed kind) is okay. If you really want it or need it, go ahead and eat it!

Are you shocked to hear this from the mouth a VEGAN? Someone who doesn't eat any animal products AT ALL?

Just because it works for me doesn't mean it will work for you. And no matter how I try to encourage a Vegetarian or Vegan Diet, people are going to do what they want to do. Some just refuse to stop eating meat. And quite honestly, if they are not disciplined and dedicated, perhaps they should reconsider giving up meat!

So what am I supposed to do with clients who can't or won't give up their meat? Give up on them because they refuse to do it MY way?  Go VEGAN or go elsewhere? I can't do that. But I can work around their meat-eating ways and still help them become healthy, wealthy and wise. And maintain a comfortable weight.  I would rather say it's okay to have a burger once in awhile than to find out they're sneaking one behind my back. That's not helping anyone!

I steer my clients away from the Typical American Diet and encourage them to eat mostly plants.  I hate the idea of eating animals or animal products. It doesn't matter if a cow or chicken lived its entire life cooped up in a cage or roaming around free in a pasture until led to the slaughter.  But I always have to remember, these are my convictions. Until they become part of the heart and soul of another person, they will remain my convictions.

For those of you who really want to go Veggie all the way (you're so ready to forever sacrifice those Quarter Pounders for the greater good), or you have health reasons, environmental, ethical or spiritual convictions, or you just saw a real live cow for the very first time and can't ever eat a steak again, make sure you do it the right way. Get educated. Talk with your doctor, get tips and ideas from other successful (healthy) non-meat eaters, or camp out at a local yoga studio and find out what they're eating. Many yogis are vegetarians- some are not.  You should hear and understand the pros and cons of each personal choice. Research, research, research.  And be sure to contact me. That's why I am here. .

It doesn't matter if you are a Die-Hard Carnivore or an Aspiring Veggie.  Let's chat and discover together the best eating plan that suits your needs and your lifestyle.

And this is my Daily Cyn.......

What does Self Love or Full Potential Have to Do With Losing Weight?





We can only reach our true potential when we truly love and accept who we are, exactly as we are....... 

I am currently working on an article about reaching our full potential.  I wanted to post it today but it's not quite ready so instead I am giving you this- a teaser if you will. After all, Daily Cyn is a daily blog so I have to write something.

There are some people who can't grasp the concept of exactly what I do. I am a Nutritional Consultant and Lifestyle Coach. I teach people how to eat. Clients come to me for a variety of reasons: weight loss, health concerns, they want to become vegetarians, or just because they know they should eat better but have no idea how to begin. 




So what on earth does loving yourself or reaching your full potential have to do with losing weight, health or making a decision to eat well?

EVERYTHING!!!

 I'll use weight-loss as an example because it seems to be the most popular issue. You are overweight because you eat too much. Simple. You want to lose weight so now you need to stop over-eating. Yes and no. Over-eating isn't really the problem. It is a symptom of something else. In other words, there's a reason why you're over-eating and it's not just because food tastes so good! Why can some people stop at one or two cookies and you have to eat the whole bag? And, NO, YOU DON'T HAVE A DISEASE! There's something you're lacking. Something you need. Over-eating is just a temporary solution and a way of silencing something deep within. You are trying to fix it or shut it up with food. It all boils down to unresolved issues and how you think about your SELF.  In order to lose weight and keep it off forever, you must deal with those issues and come to know, accept and love who you are. Then you will begin to cherish, nourish and nurture yourself. This is also the key to reaching your full potential. You will never really get there any other way.

My methods are different. I will help you lose weight if that's what you want, but it's a lifestyle change I am after. I don't want you coming back in year to lose those same twenty pounds. I do want you to be so happy, healthy and different that you refer all your family and friends to me. I will not tell you to wait until you are thin enough  to go get what you want. I will tell you to start doing it NOW--regardless of your size or weight!  How? First step:  Deal with your issues: What do you want? What do you need? What's missing in your life? Second:  Love and appreciate who you are are right now-exactly as you are. 

Love myself even if I am fat? Absolutely!

If you don't love yourself RIGHT NOW, you will not miraculously love yourself when you're thin. You might love the way your body looks- but that's just your body and that's always subject to change..... 

I don't have a quick-fix miracle cure.  In fact it's hard work- for you and for me. But some amazing things will happen. Your health will improve. Your energy levels-- through the roof. Dreams will start coming true.  Relationships more satisfying . Doors to new fulfilling careers and other possibilites will open. Your whole life will change! Oh! And the weight? It will drop off and stay off! Full potential? You bet-cha!

Want to learn more? Read about me and what I do here: ABOUT ME.

If this sounds interesting to you, contact me. We'll chat: in person, over the phone, by computer--what ever works!

And this is my Daily Cyn............

Key Ingredients

And this is my Daily Cyn.............

Why I Am Terrified of Relationships.......

Perhaps it's because I've been under the weather for the past few days, but I am beginning to feel a little lonely.  I have a bit of head-cold and a fever. Minor aches and pains. And I am tired. Very tired. So I've been sleeping- a lot. In between slipping in and out of consciousness, I've been thinking how nice it would be to have a loving partner here to occasionally rub my back, prop up the pillows or serve me a cup of hot tea. Then he can go back to whatever he was doing.

 Ahhh.... the perks of being in a relationship and the lonliness that comes with being single. Maybe it's time to start opening myself to the idea of being a part of something- try a relationship one more time. Then again, given my track record, maybe not.

I am terrified of relationships.  After a few failed ones, at forty-nine years old, I don't know how much more disappointment I can take. I don't think I am the problem.  I am far from perfect but I am easy-going, non-demanding, independent, secure. I am not clingy and don't expect to be wined and dined 24/7.  I am not moody or selfish. I'm usually happy and positive and willing to do or try just about anything. I am loving,  forgiving, kind and generous. I think I am pretty good catch so......what's the problem?

Finding guys who want to be with me is never difficult. I just can't seem to find the right guy. They start out right- everything is just peachy- but soon, everything changes. And it's not me......it's THEM! They get lazy. They stop trying. It's like once they know they've got me, they relax and give up. I try harder and eventually I get so frustrated that I stop trying.  Then I bolt;  leaving them completely stunned because they have no idea what went wrong.

I watched a movie called Spread the other day with Ashton Kutcher. He plays an adorable character named Nikki who you don't want to like but can't help but love. In the end, a very sad movie. Nikki is a 'player'. He has all the right words and the perfect moves and a string of girls (young and old)  following him everywhere he went. His advice to guys was this:

"Pretend to enjoy doing everything she does. Like what she likes. Sweep her off her feet by listening to her, holding her, making love to her all night long and then.....once she's hooked on you, you can go back to watching football!"

Oh. My. God! If this doesn't describe every relationship I've been in! Men who appear to be everything I want but once I fall for them, they become something I don't recognize. They are no longer who I first fell in love with and definitely not the kind of guy with whom I would want to spend my time.  But by that point, it's tough to leave because my heart is involved. So I sit there completely puzzled, racking my brains trying to figure out what I did wrong.  I think maybe I can get it back to the way it used to be so I pull out all the stops but nothing works. Eventually I leave, bruised, broken and feeling like a failure.  What I find really amusing is; they never want to leave me.

Perhaps you're thinking I expect too much or that I am too needy. Really, I'm not. I don't expect or need or ask for much. Really, I don't.


I just want a little of this:

Fun times like this...........

Every once in awhile a bit of this...........

A few warm cozy nights like this...........

I would even be happy with this............

And God knows I need lots of this............

And every so often, a little of this...........

I don't think that's too much to ask. I am not asking for big bank accounts, fancy cars and beach-front property. All I want is honesty, time, love and tenderness. I tell guys upfront what I am looking for in a relationship and in the beginning, they are all for it. They say they want exactly the same things. I don't live in fairy-tale land. I know it can't be sunshine and roses all the time. We have lives, jobs, children, aging parents and bills. The wild and crazy, eating, breathing, sleeping that other person 24/7 and those thrilling 'I just can't get enough of you' feelings mellow over time and should evolve into something normal, secure, comfortable and sweet. I don't toss the baby out with the bath water when the newness and excitement of the relationship begins to wear off.

Eventually I have no choice but to give up on relationships because the guy always becomes like this:

Like the Ashton Kutcher character. "Okay, she's hooked. Now I can go back to who I really am!"

And I become a miserable, screaming shrew because all I want is the original guy I fell for. Hold me, kiss me, talk to me, take me some place, show me a little glimpse of the man I love-- anything but THIS!

I have a life. I have friends, interests and things to do. But when I am with a guy, I want to be with him. If I am sharing my life, then I want to live life- with him. I want to do things and go places with him. And when we are spending a quiet evening at home, I need to know he's happy to be there with me. I don't want to compete with what's on TV or his buddies or feel less important than the half-a-dozen naps he takes on Sundays.  I don't want to be told to shut up, turned off or tuned out. I want him to listen to me and if he can't for whatever reason, then TELL ME. Not now, honey, I want unwind, or hear this, watch this, or go for a beer with the guys but later we will talk! If he wants to take a nap, heck, I'll join him. Nothing would make me happier than to curl up in his arms on a lazy afternoon for an hour or two.  If it leads to other things--great. If it doesn't, that's okay, too. What happened to the man who was so happy to just hold me? Doesn't he exist any more? Or I am suddenly unworthy of being held? Sorry guys, but these are some of the endearing qualities you show us that attract us and win us over. When you take them away from us, it hurts.

Sadly, my impression of most men is that they just really want to be left alone. They can spend all day with their buddies, drinking, watching sports and playing cards but it when it comes to women, they really don't want us around. I think they tolerate us just in case they roll over and decide they want us for-- well, you know. Once they get that, they want to be left alone again.  And then they have the audacity to complain when we come to bed wearing a pair of old sweats instead of corsets and garters and thongs!

Hey, there are times I want to be alone, too. At least I have the decency to tell you. Give me an hour to soak in the tub, unwind after work, chat on the phone, do my computer work or watch this program and then I am all yours! I don't understand why I can't find a man willing to give me the same respect. Oh, and a little advice: you want corsets and garters and thongs? Turn off the TV, get out of the recliner and pay attention to me outside of the bedroom. Every night will be a Frederick's of Hollywood fashion show with me! Just sayin.............

This is why I choose not be in relationships. I would rather decide to be alone than be forced to feel that way by some guy. I never give anyone my left-overs. I don't want someone else's. I want it off the top, to be a priority, not some chore you have to finish to shut me up. And so far, I have not found a man who can be this way . Perhaps I am looking in the wrong places. I really don't know. Or maybe, just maybe, every man I've ever been with  never really and truly loved me. That could be it. I mean, come on, when you love someone, don't you want to be with them, spend time, do things, enjoy each other? You don't want to shut them up or shut them out- you want to draw them in and keep them close.

The funny thing is, I am not the only gal who feels this way. Most women I talk to believe they've been duped, fooled by a man who is nothing like the original they fell for. And now they're trapped in this cycle of wishing, hoping and trying to get something back that quite honestly, never really existed.  I am beginning to believe that the heart of a man is so guarded that they very rarely, if ever, truly fall in love. When they do, more power to the women who capture their hearts. And if you are man in love, I am sure your woman doesn't feel she's been fooled because you've always been the real deal with her. And because you love her, you don't pretend to be something other than who you really are. Why? Because if you aren't really what she wants and needs, you love her enough to let her go and find the one who is.

My heart longs to be part of something real so I will keep searching. And I will keep trying. One of these days I will find the one who will fall in love with me and trust me to hold his heart and know I will treasure it like my own.
   
Or.....perhaps when I start feeling better, I will give this up these ridiculous ideas about love and relationships and just go back to enjoying my single life!  Who knows?

But I do know this........I refuse to settle for anything less than the best so until then........happy hunting.............

And this is my Daily Cyn..............

Defining Our True Purpose

We all have a purpose in life. Some know it, MOST do not. If we have no clue what our true purpose is, we wander aimlessly without direction. We are miserable. We lack fulfillment and satisfaction in our lives. We are not living extraordinary lives because we have no idea what we are doing here and what we supposed to be doing while we are here.

Everything in our lives actually points to our true purpose: the good experiences and the bad, every job, every person, every success, failure, every dream. These things influence our inspiration, our passion, our purpose.

What inspires you? Every single human being is inspired by something.  Identify it, write it down, and give yourself permission to do it and have it!

Here is a great video I watched this morning to help encourage and point you in the right direction. Enjoy....

How to Determine Your Purpose

And this is my Daily Cyn........

It's Impossible to Get Without Giving............

It's impossible to get without giving. It's impossible to give without getting -Cynthia

There are certain absolutes in life.

For example:

What goes around comes around............

What goes up must come down.................

We know these principles because we have all experienced them, in one way or another. Do something bad, eventually, something bad will happen to you. Toss a thing up into the air and sooner or later, it will come spiraling or crashing down.

What about getting? Getting what you want-- whatever it is? Love, friendship, success, money, peace?

Most of the time we just sit there- expecting. I want, I want, I want!

But yet, you still don't have........

Perhaps you don't have anything because you don't give anything.

"Cast your bread upon the water and it will come back soon, on every wave."

That's a little church song I used to sing when I was a little girl. I always visualized little loaves of bread washing up on the shore for me.....just because I tossed one loaf out there first.

My LAST loaf of bread? Yes........ give and it will come back.

You can't really get what you want and need if you don't give.

You can try to steal it....but when you rob and steal- it will be taken away. Maybe not right away, but some day. I guarantee it.

You can accumulate all sorts of things by stealing, being dishonest or stepping over others to get what you want. You will never be content. You will live in fear that one day, you will lose it all. This why we become selfish, stingy and greedy. We become hoarders. As a result, we are miserable and alone.

Start giving. Give out of your own need. Give your last dollar to someone who needs it more. Give away your love, your peace, your friendship.

It's impossible NOT to get something back in return.

Not only will you get an abundance of everything you want and need- you will be filled to overflowing with love, peace and security.

And this is my Daily Cyn............