Friday, June 25, 2010

The Journey Home.........

I previously wrote in one of my blogs about visions, goals and dreams and how important it is to have something you are passionate about and to visualize it until it is yours.  My goal is to have a little house on the beach or at the very least, within walking distance to some body of water, preferably the bay or the ocean.  I would even settle for a quiet lake.  I am not just sitting around dreaming about it, however.  I have a plan.... a two year plan.  In two years I will  be 50 years old. I am not afraid of turning 50.  I look forward to it.  What I am afraid of  is reaching that age and being in the same exact place I am at 48.  I am not necessarily talking about location, although that is part of the plan.   I am more interested in my emotional and physical state and my financial and job status more than anything.  Where I live is just geography.  Who I am and how I live (meaning quality of life) when I turn 50 is what matters most. 

Every week I get email updates from a couple of different realtors in the Virginia Beach area.  They send me photos and details on homes for sale or rent near the beach.  I am not quite ready to move yet, but they don't know that.  I want to get an idea of what's available out there and if something really catches my eye, it's an 8 hour drive from NY if I want to go check it out.  Why Virginia Beach? I have family there. It's South, but not too Southern.  It's warmer, the summers are definitely longer but the seasons also change. I wouldn't want to live without the changing leaves in the fall, the buds on the trees at springtime, or the crisp coolness of a winter morning.  Virginia Beach is where I spent alot of my childhood and I still love to visit as an adult.  It is full of wonderful memories; times of laughter and fun, summers on the beach, carefree craziness, and the love and comfort of dear relatives who, as I get older and my parents get even older, I just want to be near.   Am I trying to recapture my youth in some way? Perhaps.....but maybe there is something there for me that I need to discover, to learn, and to experience because out all the places in the world I could choose to live, that is where I want to be.

My two year plan also involves my work and finances.  I have worked very hard in the mortgage industry for years.  My goal was to be financially independent and for many years the loan business was very lucrative for me.  I earned a terrific income and sometimes spent my money foolishly because it appeared to be a well that would never run dry.  Over the past couple of years, the economy has changed, banks have closed and the lenders who do have money to lend are becoming more and more stringent.   Quailfying borrowers and the ability to write and close loans has become more and more difficult and quite frankly, I think the handwriting is on the wall concerning the industry. I am frustrated and disillusioned and the job, which once brought me great pleasure and was so rewarding, is now a burden.  It's time for a back-up plan and thankfully, I had the sense enough to go to school years ago and get training and a degree in something completely different.  My passion is and always has been nutrition and counseling others.  This past March, I reduced my work week at my mortgage company to three days and the other two days I spend at home trying to build my business, finding and working with clients, writing articles about health and nutrition, and educating myself to keep abreast and informed of the latest and greatest nutritional news.  In the next two years, I want to leave the mortgage industry behind, be completely self-employed and operating my consulting business from anywhere, whether I am sitting in a lounge chair on a beach, at my kitchen table, or from my little porch or deck over looking the water. I want to have enough finances to be comfortable, to pay my mortgage or rent, and to have a little left over at the end of the month to play with. 

 I have an idea of the home I would like to have.  It would simple, homey, earthy and inviting.  It must have a porch; a sweet resting place.  I will sit out there in the cool of the evening after the dishes are done with a cup of tea or a glass of wine, and gaze up at the stars or the moonlight over the water.  In the mornings I want to watch the sunrise from my front or back porch, sip my coffee, and meditate and pray.  In the back yard or off to the side I want a little garden to grow fresh vegetables and some herbs that I can brew into tea and for healing.  Between two trees, I want a hammock where loved ones can come rest their weary bones on lazy Sunday afternoons.  Inside, I want a fireplace to warm the chilly nights, and a big sunny kitchen to prepare feasts for family and friends, and to occassionally teach a cooking class to my clients.

This is my plan, my hope and my dream.  Does this sound like a lot to ask for? Perhaps.....but it's far from impossible.  Hopefully the special people I love will come with me but I will understand if they can't.  I am running out of time and I am not afraid to go alone.

This is a pretty big change for the girl who's motto has always been, "Where's the party?"  Life has a funny way of treating us and changing us.  When we are faced with difficult situations, illness, or trials and tribulations, it could be God's way of telling us to slow down a little.  I lived life in the fast lane for many years and I now suffer some of the consequences.  I've stomped my feet, cried my tears and have forgiven myself for my mistakes.  Now I only see stepping stones in a river I must cross over.  On the other side is the path leading to the road that is calling me home............

And this is my Daily Cyn............

1 comment:

  1. Cool... that is so cool Cynthia....I can see you on your porch drinking your wine and looking over a field onto a lake with the barn sparrows swoopping down too catch the bugs.. the frogs singing there chorus and that red orange sky as the sun goes down and you can just make out the first stars...smell the cherry wood burnnig in the fire place and the warm soft lights from the kitchen calling you in I believe that you will live out your dream... I hope this for you