Friday, April 29, 2011
Some Day My Prince Will Come.......
Who doesn't love a wedding? And this one certainly is a fairytale come true.
"We all dream their reality". Those were the words of one British on-looker as she witnessed the newly married couple riding away in their horse-drawn carriage. They were off to Buckingham Palace to live the rest of their lives in eternal wedded bliss.
I admit, I am a bit sarcastic this morning. In fact, I am feeling quite sorry for myself. I apologize. This has been the worst year of my life so far and I suspect it is going to get worse before it gets better. This week was a disaster. I am not a pessimist--I am an optimist. I always have been, but reality is reality. Life is tough right now: for me, for my family and for so many other people I know.
As I watched Prince William and Miss Catherine Middleton exchange their wedding vows, I thought to myself, " How wonderful. Who wouldn't want to find their prince and become a princess?"
Life certainly would be easier if the ruler of some distant land arrived on a white horse to whisk me away from all my troubles.
Right. Like that's ever gonna happen!
We are conditioned to think this way. We grew up on stories like Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella. The kiss of a handsome prince will release us from the curse of a dark, eternal slumber. One day we will be delivered from a life of hard work and a cruel, wicked step-mother and her equally cruel and wicked daughters. We just have to believe. We have to sing, out loud, as we work our fingers to the bone: "Some day my prince will come!" Our fairy god-mother will magically appear and transform our rags to a magnificent designer gown and our broken down vehicle in to a chariot. With one dance, the prince will fall head-over-heels in love and sail across an endless sea, walk through the desert, and even climb the highest mountain to find us and make us his own. All our debt, troubles and cares are left behind when he whisk us away to his beautiful castle to live happily ever after.
What really amuses me is that is where the story ends. Why is there never a Cinderella-The Sequel? This is when she discovers her Prince Charming is a real royal pain-in-the-ass who snores, leaves a mess in the bathroom, and expects her to do all the cooking, cleaning and shopping. And she must do it all in glamorous gowns--never in a tee shirt and pair of sweat pants. His idea of a perfect Sunday is to be left alone in his recliner with a six-pack of Bud to watch the Yankee game. She just wants to take a stroll through the palace garden with the man she loves. She wants to talk, like they used to do, but he's too tired, too stressed, too busy. Frustrated, neglected and disappointed, she picks up pieces of the royal china and hurls them at him to get his attention. They yell, they scream, they fight. He escapes by going hunting with his friends. She throws herself onto their big king-sized bed ( the same bed in which there hasn't been any action lately other than sleeping) and cries. She must decide: should she stay or should she go? She might have to return to cinders and ash, but it's better than the heartache and rejection she feels now. She put all her hopes, dreams and her future in this one man and he is not measuring up. Sound familiar?
Dear friends, of course I am slightly exaggerating here. This is not my view on relationships and not every relationship is like this. Mine isn't, at least not all the time. We have good days and we have bad days. We fight, he yells, I cry, we heal. This is reality. This is life. My guy is no prince. He's more like a court-jester. He aggravates me and does and says stupid things, but he makes me laugh. And for that reason, among others, I stay.
Catherine Middleton is a lucky girl. She is now a Royal Princess. She is one in a million. I wish her well and I do hope she lives the rest of her life as a happy, loved, married woman. For the rest of us, who dream of Prince Charming--stop wishing and hoping. He isn't coming. The sooner we 'get this', the better off we will be.
I love a rags-to-riches story. Who wouldn't want to ride off into the sunset on a white horse with the perfect man? These are wonderful tales but they are also harmful because we subconsciously believe that a man is our hero. Yes, sometimes he does arrive and sweeps off our feet with his promises of unconditional love and a guarantee that we never will never again need to worry about anything. He will take care of it all.
Don't fall for it!
I am not a male-basher. Far from it. I love men! But, let's face it, they are men and if we depend on them as our source of happiness, guess what happens? They fail us every time. A few months or years into the relationship, we begin to realize--he's not a prince and this is no fairytale.
You are already a princess. Wait! Let me re-phrase that. You are a Queen! You don't need a prince, a king or a knight in shining armor to make it happen. You make your own dreams come true. When you finally realize that no one can do it for you and no one is going to whisk you away from your troubles and pain, this is when you roll up your sleeves, do the work, and make it happen. You create your own kingdom over which you rule. With hard work and determination, you can build your own castle, drive your own horse-drawn carriage, and buy your own diamond-crusted crown, thank you very much! And here is a little secret: once you truly see yourself as royalty and start acting that way, everyone else will see you as such. They will treat you the way you deserve: with respect, with honor and with love.
Rule your kingdom. Make it happen. And if by chance, your prince does come, remember he is there because he was attracted to your strength and your independence. After all, he needs someone to help keep his crown on straight.
And this is my Daily Cyn......