Love What You Say.....Before You Say It....

"Passion is loving what you're going to say, before you say it."

I saw this quote yesterday and thought about it for the rest of the day.  It brought to mind the very painful argument I had with my guy this past weekend.  Right in the middle of our wonderful get-away, we had a knock-out, drag-out fight.  There we were, together in our hotel bed, alone for the first time in months, and rather than loving each other, we were hurling insults and hurtful accusations.  We did serious damage to each other. Eventually, I collapsed, completely exhausted and sobbing. I was hurt and angry at him but I was angrier at myself for sinking to such a level.  I was shocked at the words that came out of my mouth.  I knew I was hurting him, but my hurtful words were killing me. He had managed to stir up something within me that I despised.  I was speaking words I hated and can never, ever take back.   I love my guy and I certainly don't want to hurt him, but I was a roll.  I was ashamed of myself and my instinct was to pack up right there and then and leave him forever.

I like to think I am a loving, caring, passionate person.  I never want to hurt anyone with anything I say or do.  I am very easy going but if provoked or backed into a corner, I will eventually fight back. At that point, I am like a cobra.  I strike and inject my poisonous venom into my victim.  They never see it coming and the damage is deadly.

The quote I found yesterday caused me to do a bit of soul searching.  All my life, I have tried to live peacefully, lovingly. With passion. Most of the time, I carefully weight my words and avoid arguements and disagreements. I so dislike fighting. Every once in awhile I get involved with people who are able to push my buttons to the point where I am out of control. Then I run. Why?  Because I don't want to be hurt and I don't want to hurt them? Perhaps. Or maybe it's because I see something in myself that is truly unlovely.

 I don't want to look at the ugly stuff.  It's easier to run, hide, and put the blame on them. 

The reality is: I am the master of my own thoughts and what comes out of my mouth. When someone hurts me and I retaliate in kind, that's my problem.....not theirs.

When I can finally stand there and think loving thoughts and speak loving words despite how badly I have been hurt, that is love. That is peace. That is passion**.

 Oh, how I long to love and to be loved.  I want passion- for others, for myself and for life. I weep over the words I've said that were not laced with loving kindness.  I think of the damage I've done, the pain I've inflicted, the lives I changed because I did not stop to consider my words. If I don't love what I say before I say it,  perhaps it's better to say nothing at all.

Imagine a world filled with passion; each of us loving what we are going to say, before we even say it.  We would inspire others. Nothing would be impossible.  Never again would a heart be broken or a spirit crushed.  There would be no fighting, no war, no hate, no pain.

We would have peace on earth........

And this is my Daily Cyn........

**NOTE--I am referring to normal, heated discussions in which we get caught up in the moment and say things we do not mean to say- whether it is the truth or not.  Emotional, physical or mental abuse is something all together different and I would never stand for or condone it.  Abuse is not love and there is no way you can ever love someone enough to get them to stop abusive behavior.  Don't ever allow yourself to be abused or remain in that kind of relationship. If you are in an abusive situation, please seek help and remove yourself immediately.