Thursday, June 9, 2011
I Fired My Therapist
I fired my therapist! And I never felt better.........
This happened quite some time ago but I am finally ready to talk about it. It was the best thing I ever did. At first, I felt a combination of fear, anxiety, devastation. Eventually, I had peace. My mind was finally clear. I regained control of my thoughts, my ideas and my life. I was able to restore relationships and invite love into my heart. My therapist no longer had any influence over me. I used to feel so good sitting in my therapist's office. It was warm and cozy and I felt understood and loved. A few hours later however, I would become sick and depressed. Whenever I followed the advice of my therapist; I did stupid things and made foolish decisions. That made me feel even worse. I am still paying the consequences for some of those stupid and foolish mistakes.
Do you want to know who my therapist was?
Here you go!
Please don't stop reading! I am not here to bash alcohol. There is nothing wrong with a cocktail or glass of wine with dinner. A martini or two with friends after a long, hard day at the office is a nice way to unwind. As long as you are not driving, it's perfectly fine. But I found that I turned to alcohol a bit too often when my life became more and more complicated and unsatisfying. Rather than deal with my issues or take time to think and sort things out, I choose to turn off my mind and my emotions with something that killed all my sensibility. It made me do things I would never, ever consider when sober. Every time upsetting events, stressful days, heartache, pain, or even joyful occasions occurred, I turned to it. I made frequent and regular appointments.
It became my therapist.
It made me feel good. I didn't have to think. I didn't have to deal with myself or anyone else. I didn't have to feel. I could just anesthetize myself and stay that way for days. I swept everything under the carpet but . eventually, I accumulated a big pile of dirt. That pile became so huge I had no choice but to deal with it before it completely took over. Dealing with it was tough. It required hard work and hundreds of trips to the garbage can to dispose of it all properly.
And no.....I am not a recovering alcoholic! I just realized I was becoming dependent on something that was harmful and unhealthy so I needed to let it go!
Here's what I believe:
Anything we use to escape from ourselves, other people, our problems, issues, or the thoughts that bounce around in our heads, can potentially become harmful and unhealthy.
It doesn't have to be alcohol. Take a minute and think about it. What do you turn to when you want to shut down, hide away and forget?
Who is your therapist?
Surfing the internet, on-line poker, porn, or social networking?
These are just a few that come to mind. The list goes on and on.
I am not completely unreasonable. These things are not bad for us- as long as they are used in moderation. We all need some method of escape from time to time. I often talk about escaping to the mountains. I hide away in a little cabin in the wilderness completely detached from television, phones and computers. I am alone with my thoughts, a pad of paper to write on, and maybe a book in case I feel like reading. This is something I do several times a year. If I did this all the time, my life would begin to suffer: my home would fall apart, the laundry would pile up, my bills would go unpaid, my relationships would begin to fail, and I would be out of touch with everything and everyone. .
It's important to step away from our hectic lives, the screaming children, the aggravating boss. We go out for a jog to clear our head, watch movies, soak in a hot bath, sip wine, enjoy a night out dancing with our friends, eat a hot fudge sundae, or climb into bed with a good book. These are all perfectly fine. We all need a break and it is essential to our well-being to do these kinds of things often. It's good therapy.
I would never deny the fact that we all need a therapist now and then........
But is your therapist helpful or harmful?
If you are not sure, here are a few questions to ask yourself:
1. Is my therapist dangerous to my health or well-being?
2. Does my therapist cause me to miss appointments, work, or other important affairs?
3. Do my friends, family and loved ones constantly complain about my therapist?
4. Do I prefer the company of my therapist to real-life relationships, conversations, and activities
5. Does my therapist influence me to make foolish choices or decisions?
6. Does my therapist occupy every spare moment of my time?
7. Has my therapist caused my life to become unmanageable or more difficult?
8. Do I dislike myself or feel angry, depressed, disappointed, or shameful after being with my therapist?
If you have answered yes to any of these questions, it is time to say, "YOU'RE FIRED!"
Then....... schedule an appointment with greatest therapist of all:
And this is my Daily Cyn........