Thursday, July 21, 2011

Let Someone Take Care of You.......

OMG! I just took a good look at myself in the mirror today. The first time in quite awhile, actually. My skin looks like it needs a bit of tender, loving care, I am in desperate need of some serious SPARKLE REMOVAL (my friend's affectionate term for covering those nasty grays), my fingernails look like I've been planting potatoes, and my clothes are literally hanging off me. For the past few weeks, I have been quickly hopping in the shower, slapping on some tinted moisturizer, securing my soaking wet hair in a big clip and going. My house looks like war zone. I can't remember the last time I ate a meal, hence my jeans are literally falling off my body. I can't find my belt so they are going to have to do for now. I bought a pair of really great black jeans some time ago. They were slightly tight when I bought them.  They are way too big now but I'm not too upset about that. I can get excited about fitting into a smaller size.

I wrote the following post on my Facebook business page this morning:

"The sure-fire way to forget your troubles is to pour your love and attention into someone else with troubles, too."

Sounds good, no? And it really does work. I have a few things going on in my life, but I have a friend who has suffered such devastating loss recently. Her sorrow is nothing compared to mine, so I spent my morning trying to encourage her. It made me feel better to do this. It took my mind off my own shit. My girlfriend felt love and strength and was greatly empowered after my phone chat with her. She is ready to face her day. I am ready to get busy with mine.

A fellow Facebooker, who also happens to be in Health and Wellness Biz, added a comment below my post:
"......or let someone help you!"

I swallowed hard when I read that. That's where I always seem to get stuck. Letting someone help me!

You know the saying " She can dish it out, but she can't take it?" That usually applies to bad things but it can mean something else, too. I can dish out the love, the encouragement, the 'you're so wonderful and amazing' compliments. I can pour it on thick like nobody's business. I will come over, clean your house, cook you a meal, take you out on the town, or do whatever it takes to make your life or situation easier. But, when it comes to asking for it myself OR accepting it when offered, I refuse.

Why is that?

I have some truly awesome friends. I keep getting invitations left and right to dinner, to the nail salon, comedy clubs, to meet for a cup of coffee. A friend even offered to give me a pedicure! My phone is ringing off the hook but I keep letting it go to voicemail. People want to talk to me. They want to see how I am holding up and if there is anything they can do to help. I have been rejecting everyone!

I am so damn proud. I pride myself on being a tower of strength. I don't need anyone. I can do it myself. I have always been that way. It's not necessarily a bad way to be but after really looking around my house today and gazing at myself in the mirror, I realize it might not always be the right way.

And, the truth is--if I let myself go, I will be totally useless to anyone else.

So this weekend I plan on doing a few things. A trip with my girlfriend to the salon for facials, hair and nail treatments. Accepting that dinner invitation from a kind and sympathetic gentleman who has been patiently waiting for weeks to share a meal with me. A girl's night out this coming Friday (just a for few hours, though. I am just not up for an all-nighter), and grocery shopping so I can fill my fridge and pantry with quick, easy, healthy food. My friend came over the other day and offered to vacuum for me. I declined that offer, too, but if she is still willing, I will let her. These all might seem so little and insignificant but in the whole scheme of things, they matter.  These small treats and favors will make me feel and look better. They will help provide the strength I need to keep going.

Take care of others. That's my mantra. It's okay to be that way. As your pour out your life for others, don't neglect yourself.  And if you are blessed enough to have friends and loved ones who want to help you, let them. They just want to give back a little bit of what you have given to them-- LOVE.

And this is my Daily Cyn.......

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