Saturday, May 12, 2012

Square Peg, Round Hole

I used to be in Mortgage Industry. How I ever became involved that business  is beyond me and a story for another time.  I am more of a peace, love, group hug type of a girl.  That doesn't really doesn't work well  in the world of mortgages, so I had to adapt.  It didn't take long for me to become as cut-throat and under-handed as the rest of the boys. I could lie right to a client's face without batting an eyelash.  I changed my personality to fit the position but I paid a very high price.  At that time, that's where the money was. I wanted the money. I also wanted the prestige that went along with it.

 I am not saying the entire mortgage business is bad. I've worked with some wonderful and very honest mortgage companies. I've also worked with some real dirt bags and in order to get the job done, I had to be a bit of a dirt bag, too. Years later, I took a long, hard look at myself and realized that career was not the perfect fit for me.

I remember when I first became a Mortgage Loan Processor. It was a big promotion and I was determined to the best processor ever.  There was a particular client file that had been floating around the office for over a year. No one was able to secure a mortgage for this borrower. Everyone tried and failed and eventually the file was pushed aside but not forgotten. On my first day as a brand new processor, my manager came in to my nice new office and dropped that twenty-pound file on my desk. I already knew all about it. I had heard the screaming and cursing and witnessed the temper tantrums. One processor in the office became so frustrated that she actually threatened to quit over it.  I swallowed hard and gave my manager my best deer in the headlights look.

 "You've got to be kidding me," I whined. "You can't give me this file. I have no clue what I'm doing!"

I thought he would understand but instead he yelled at me. "You wanted to be a processor! Here you go. Figure it out. Square peg. Round hole. Make it fit. At any cost!" And with that, he stormed out my office.

I was so upset. Petrified was more like it. And angry. Square peg. Round hole! I really wanted to shove something up his you know what. Instead, I spent the rest of my day ripping that file apart. I did the very same thing the next day. And the next; until I finally came up with a way to get the loan done. From then on, I only wanted to work on the really difficult loans. Give the easy ones to someone else. I loved the challenge and attacked each one with the same determination as the first. That's how I became one of the best. Square peg. Round hole. Make it fit. At any cost.

There's something to be said for the person who is willing to do anything to get a job done. Turn over every stone. Never quit. Those are rare and admirable qualities, especially when it comes to business. I happen to be that kind of person; not just when it comes to work, but in almost every area of my life. I am always trying to get that square peg into the round hole. I will push and shove and try every angle possible to make it fit. I don't like to give up or take no for answer. I refuse to accept defeat. That's not necessarily a bad thing. It's good. There's just one little problem.  What happens to the square peg?

For years I tried to force square pegs into round holes. I really made a bit of a mess. I took on projects and responsibilities that were impossible complete. I got involved in careers that demanded I become the type of person I was never meant to be. I remained in unhealthy relationships because I refused to give up. I even tried to be who other people thought I should be. Square peg. Round hole. Make it fit. At any cost. As a result, I became a damaged, shredded, broken square peg. It took a very long time to heal.

Sometimes, things just don't fit. No matter how hard we push and shove;  there's no way it's going to happen. The key is to know when to keep trying and when to step back and say, "This is never going to work and I am tearing myself to pieces in the process." 

Never give up your goals and dreams.  You should be determined and driven and turn over every stone. Fight for the things that matter and never stop. We need more people like that in the world. But there's one thing you need to know. A square peg was never meant to fit into a round hole. You have to break it or damage it to make it work; and even then, it will never be the perfect fit.

Go ahead and give it all you've got. Never give up. Just pay attention. You are the square peg and if you're tearing yourself to pieces in the process; perhaps it's time to walk away. Eventually you will find the perfect fit.

And this is my Daily Cyn..........

1 comment: