Wednesday, May 12, 2010
I have been thinking an awful lot about love lately. We use the term so casually at times. We love summer. We love ice cream. We love our pets. We love our mates, our children, our parents. What does it mean to truly love?
The dictionary describes loves as: 1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. 2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection.
At the age of 47, with a failed marriage and a string of meaningless flings under my belt, I was fortunate to meet a wonderful man and fall head over heels in love with him. We have been together for a year now. For the first time in my life I am truly and honestly in love. I have loved before but not like this. I was married for 21 years but a life of abuse, control, and heartbreak destroyed any feelings I had in my heart for the man I married. I was very young when I married him and full of unrealistic expectations and notions of happily-ever-after. I don’t believe it is ever acceptable to emotionally, mentally, or physically abuse another living thing, but I cannot help but think that my immature outlook on life and what I thought love was supposed to be contributed to our train-wreck of a marriage that ended bitterly in divorce. I have since learned a few things about love and what it means to truly love someone. These are my ideas….take them, or leave them…..
Loving someone does not mean you are responsible for that person’s happiness nor is he or she responsible for yours. You are responsible for your own happiness and to bring that joy and contentment into the love relationship.
Loving someone does not mean you give that person the authority or permission to run your life, make decisions for you, control or abuse you in any way, shape or form.
Loving someone does not mean you sacrifice your needs, wants, or desires.
Loving someone means you support them in their hopes, dreams, and endeavors, even if you don’t understand them, think they are crazy, or impossible.
Loving someone means you never say “ I told you so” when they fail….. Instead, you are there to help them up and to start over again.
Loving someone is to truly accept some one as they are, faults and all.
Loving someone means you do not manipulate them to change into something or someone you, your family, your friends, or anyone else thinks they should be.
Loving someone makes you want to become a better person…..for yourself first, and then for the person you love.
Loving someone is a decision……despite all odds and obstacles….you let them know through your actions, words, and deeds that you will love them no matter what!
And finally….. To truly love someone, you must love yourself first , see yourself as deserving of love, and give yourself permission to receive the love someone else has to offer….
And this is my Daily Cyn............