I am on a "feel good" kick! I've spent the past few months feeling sorry for myself for several reasons ( a failed relationship, having to give up my office at the Wellness Center, the sudden, unexpected death of my beloved cat, Sambo, my father battling cancer, serious issues with my son, losing my "day job" and that much needed steady paycheck that went along with it, etc. etc.). It's been a difficult year so far.
When everything bad hit me at once, it took awhile to catch up. Honestly, I've never had so many upsetting circumstances occur in such a short period of time. I felt like I was in a boxing match. I wasn't sitting around crying but I was less than enthusiastic about everything. My social life came to screeching halt--by choice. I was declining invitations from friends. Staying at home alone. Going to bed early (I am usually a night-owl). Allowing the dishes to pile up in the sink (something I never do), not folding my laundry, craving foods I never eat like candy, cookies and cake. Things that clearly indicated I was down-in-the-dumps. It's okay to feel this way. Sometimes, you just gotta go with it. There's always a lesson to learn. There are times you just can't SNAP OUT OF IT! Give yourself permission to think, feel, reflect, cry a little if you must. Forcing yourself NOT to feel overwhelmed or sad is probably even worse in the long run.
Little by little, I found my balance again. Now I feel good and interested in things that make me feel better. When I took a good look at myself in the mirror recently, boy did I need some serious pampering. The first thing on the agenda was a Spa Day. Manicure, pedicure, facial, hair color. That made me feel great immediately. So great in fact, I went out dancing that night- the first time in almost a year!
Due to circumstances with my dad being ill, my jet-setting lifestyle is temporarily on-hold. There are so many places I want to go and things I want to do but I can't come and go as I please right now. I need to be close to home and available. And as for jumping back into the dating pool? Forget about it! I have so much going on, honestly, what guy in his right mind is going to get involved with me? I am okay with that, for now.
My business is growing but it's slow going. I had to temporarily give up my office so I am operating from home. That's okay, too. I have a nice little place. It's small, but nice and I don't mind having clients here as long as they don't mind an affectionate black cat crawling all over them.
So what can I do to work around all this but yet still feel good? Well, being that most of my time lately is spent at home, I can make my home better. If I have to live here, work here and spend most of my time here, I need to make the best of it and make it more appealing. Warmer. Friendlier. That would make me feel good. This unfortunately, involves spending some money. Money I really don't have. I am certainly not poverty-stricken but since losing that steady, weekly pay check and surviving soley on what I earn in my consulting business, most of the time, I feel like this:
My living room, bedroom and bath are in desperate need of painting. I have been putting it off because I'm the worst painter in the world and I don't really have the extra funds to hire someone to do it. My son is moving in with me the end of this month. There's my painter! All I have to do now is buy the paint.
So, while I wait for my son to move in and start painting, I've been doing a bit of shopping. No real big purchases (I recently bought a new couch and I don't really have the room for more furniture) but buying little things that make me happy.
Because my place is so small, I don't have a lot of space for extra seating so I bought these:
Nice big pillows to toss on the floor. They look nice, they're comfortable and perfect to sit on. In fact, my son will love these. My couch is small and he's a big guy. We'll never be able to get cozy on the couch together so one of us is going to have to occupy the floor from time to time. The old lady should get the couch, don't you think?
I have recessed lighting in the ceiling at my place and it's either too bright or too dim. Most of the time, I don't even turn on the lights. I light candles. They provide a relaxing atmosphere and extra glow. So I bought these candle holders:
And the table runner to go along with them. It's going to be a bit of an adjustment sharing my home after living alone for the past several years. Even if it is my own child occupying my space, I am going to want peaceful surroundings. Candles-- instant peace.
I have limited storage and closet space. Right now I store my bath towels in a little closet in the room that my son is going to use. I can't keep going in and out of there, so I bought this:
A big basket to store my towels in the corner of the bathroom. They'll be easily accessible and my son won't have to call out, "Ma! I need a towel!" each time he takes a shower.
Simple things..............they make me feel good.
And all that junk food I've been craving lately? I threw it all away and I bought lots of fresh fruit.
I confess, I did buy one bag of Terra Chips. I ate a few and the cat got the rest. This is how I found him this morning:
Potato chip crumbs everywhere. I was vacuuming before sunrise today. Earlier I mentioned that my cat Sambo died. Well, I missed him so much that a few weeks later, I got a new cat. He will never replace my beloved Sambo, but my new little P'aqu is a hoot. He keeps me laughing all the time. I took him into my home because he makes me feel good.
And this is the cat now, after his big Potato Chip Party:
That's P'aqu, strung out and draped over my legs as I type this. And yes, I am on the couch. With a blanket. My little place can get cold and I still don't feel well. It makes me feel good to just chill this way now and then.
So in between working, resting, playing with the cat, helping out with my dad and preparing for my son to move in, I've been shopping an awful lot lately and buying all sorts of stuff for the house. Candles, towels, new pillows and sheets, picture frames. Stuff I don't really need but having it makes me happy. I am not a shop-a-holic. I don't have a spending problem and I am certainly not in debt. The money isn't flowing in right now like it used to but I am far from the poor house. I am comfortable. And these little purchases make me feel good. At least I have something to show for my money and it makes my home cozy. It adds personality. When people come here I want my house to be a reflection of who I am: warm, friendly, inviting. You can put your feet up on my table and I don't mind. Not to mention, my son is going through a very difficult time right now. He needs a haven more than anyone else I know.
Welcome home, my child. It will make us both feel good to live together again......
What's the moral of this story? If it feels good, do it! What makes me feel good, might not do anything for you. I can't tell you what to do. You have to figure that out on your own. Here is the only rule: Don't hurt yourself or anyone else. Other than that, go ahead and knock yourself out! If it feels good, DO IT~
And this is my Daily Cyn................
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